Show creator Gavin has a lot on his hands finishing up Pseudopolis station for the upcoming pilot. Instead of stopping to make a proper trailer, he’s invited podcast critic extraordinaire Wil Williams to drop by and have a look-see at the shopping district.
It… needs a few more finishing touches to really shine.
Listen on RadioPublic:
Gavin: Gavin Gaddis (obvs)
Wil: Wil Williams (natch)
Construction Worker: Chad “Chinch-Dropper” Ellis
INT: ELEVATOR. Jazzy Muzak plays over the steady hum of the freight elevator as Gavin talks to Wil.
GAVIN: Thanks again for stopping by, I’ve been working on this for so long I’m dying to get some fresh eyes on this.
WIL: No problem, I’m curious to see what you’ve got going on up here. Though, is the silent guy with a boom mic really necessary?
GAVIN: I need a trailer to put the show up on iTunes and, well, I don’t really have time write anything so we’re just going to do this one live.
WIL: It’s just weird ignoring someone who’s right there.
GAVIN: Ah, he’s cool with it, right Jeff?
Jeff’s silent presence is indicated with a comedic bell ding sound effect.
GAVIN: See, he did a thumbs up. Jeff’s cool with it.
WIL: Does that sound happen every time he does a thumbs up?
GAVIN: Yup, watch, hey Jeff what’d you think of that movie we watched last night?
Jeff dings affirmatively. The elevator door opens with a metallic creak. As the two exit the car the muzak fades away to be replaced with the steady hum of distant generators and the hustle and bustle of a construction site. Hammers drive nails, some asshole with a chop saw keeps re-cutting the same board in thedistance.
WIL: Wait I can’t tell if that was Jeff or the elevator dinging.
GAVIN (Speaking louder over the construction sounds) Welcome to Pseudopolis station! Pardon the dust, we’re still building a few things. Oh! You might wanna grab a hardhat from the pile over there. I’ve, uh-
Gavin knocks on his hardhat thrice.
GAVIN: -needed this bad boy a couple more times than insurance would like to know about.
WIL: Isn’t your deadline for the pilot December 23rd? Are you sure everything’s gonna be alright?
GAVIN: Of course! I mean, look around,this is the main shopping district of the station. Picture it in your mind’s eye, how it’ll look once we wrap up the last few details.
WIL: What details?
GAVIN: Ah well there’s just heating, cooling, air ventilation, gravity’s a little too strong , the duct-work needs finishing, we need to install all of the fancy sci-fi panels, build the shops, build the restaurants, build walls, and there’s a chinchilla problem.
WIL: Lack of or abundance?
GAVIN: You would not BELIEVE how fast SOMEONE dropping a box of six chinchillas can lead to a whole colony living in the duct-work. They basically have moved into the station before we could.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Look, I can only apologize so many times.
GAVIN: Hey! Less chit-chat more chinch-catch, unnamed construction worker who sounds suspiciously like Chad, producer of Station Blue.
WIL: Are… are you sure this is going to be done in time? I just saw someone walk by with plywood and that doesn’t feel like a very space station-y material.
GAVIN: December 23rd or bust, we’ll be launching. Trust me, we have this completely under control
Gavin’s datapad buzzes.
DATAPAD: Hull breach on E deck, compartment 24.
GAVIN: Ah, crap, there’s four pallets of marshmallows in there.
WIL: Oh no! I’ve seen videos of what happens to marshmallows in vacuum, now they’ll shrink and be all dense.
GAVIN: Look at it like this: I may have just lost two tons of marshmallows but I just gained two tons of larger-than-normal cereal marshmallows!
WIL: Hey, look at you, turning over a glass-half-full look at life.
GAVIN: The world’s a rough place, I’m building Pseudopolis so we can,y’know, tune out for a few minutes. A place where some sci-fi fun can happen and you know you won’t get bummed out. You can’t build a fun workplace sitcom on a foundation of pissing and moaning. That’s for my personal Twitter account. Listen, I gotta go down to E deck and hold my breath for a bit but before I go I just want to remind listeners-
WIL: People are listening to us?
GAVIN: Standard Docking Procedure will be debuting December 23rd on this very feed with the episode Space Steaks, part one. If you have a moment, please subscribe to the show wherever you listen to podcasts.
WIL: Gavin, what about the website?
GAVIN: If you go to dockingpod.com there’s a handy popup for the newsletter. Get the newest information about the show, hear why I’m producing it, and some secrets about the crowdfunding campaign!
WIL: *wistful sigh* I do love me some newsletters and crowdfunding perks.
GAVIN: Now if you’ll excuse me…
Gavin pulls open a long strand of duct tape.
GAVIN: I’ve got a hull breach to fix.
Pause for a beat.
WIL: Mmmm… Might not wanna stretch out the tape until you actually need it, now dust might ruin the efficacy of the stickiness.
GAVIN: It… it was- it was a cool audio punchline to end on.
WIL: Yeah but that was perfectly good tape.
GAVIN: Fair but it’s a brand new roll, we can budget three feet of tape asan advertising expense OH NO DUCK!
WIL: Oh now there’s ducks as well as chichillas?
A building noise climaxes (heh) as a drone whizzes by. Wil shouts in surprise.
WIL: Oh no! It hit Jeff!
GAVIN: Uh, Jeff, You okay buddy?
A pregnant pause is punctuated by a triumphant ding.
GAVIN: Ah, see, he’s good.